I have found the spoon of legend
Neverlooted Dungeonis anrpggame in which you can shoot a crossbow from a first person perspective. This, I imagine, was the pitch it used when trying to blag its way past the thermodynamically powered golem wearing aDaikatanat-shirt that guards the gates of Steam’scurrently-runningFPSfest. Whatever the excuse, this silver tongued rascal succeeded, and is now nestled comfortably between umpteen boomer shooter revivals, trying to squeezeUltimafactoids into the conversation.
When thedemobegins, I wake up at a camp in a murky cavern dotted with purple glowing mushrooms and, as is my right, start shoving everything I can into my pockets. A little food? I’ll have that! A sword? Go on then. A log that I can swing like a sword? Much better. Wait, a plate! I can swing the plate, too? Piss off, log. I choose you, plate. I grab an ‘Everburning Smokeless Torch’ in my left hand, and set off to batter something with my plate.
I soon run into some planks blocking my way, then spend a good minute trying to smash them down with the plate, running out of stamina several times. Defeated, I kiss the plate gently, return it to my pockets, and use the sword. It takes but a single swing. Dev buff plate plz. I walk through another cavern and past a large carnivalesque sign that reads ‘secret entrance’. I like this sign, partly because it’s funny in a Monkey Island sort of way, but mostly because I get to use the word ‘carnivalesque’. There are no enemies here, so I amuse myself by lugging around a large rock - you can grab, drag, and throw items. Also, I drop a crate on a campfire, and the crate catches fire. This, my friends, is gaming.
I enter a third cavern, and notice a fat rat gnawing on corpse. Nearby is a bear trap. I am 98% sure the bear trap was placed painfully obviously there to tutorialise traps to me, but I still feel like a genius when I poke the rat with my sword and lure it betwixt those shiny metal teeth. I pick up the dead rat and swing it at a nearby lever until a gate opens. What? I’m not pulling that lever with my hands! Anything could have touched it, even rats! Then, if you were in any doubt that this was an immersive sim, I climb through a grate. A little exploring, and I find my greatest weapon thus far: a very small metal spoon. I am going to scoop so many rats, but I will leave some surprises for you, reader.
If you’re not intrigued by this plucky pretender stealthing its way into the FPS fest (there’s stealth in the game too), here’s a few other demos and sales you might want to check out. If you spot anything else worth shouting about, do let me know.
Severed Steel(-75%) features kinetic parkour and destructible environments.Cultic(-20%) is a worthy homage to one of my all time favourite FPS games,Blood, andDeep Rock Galactic(-67%) is bloodyDeep Rock Galactic. You can read my reviewhere. In the demo department, Goldeneye-likeAgent 64: Spies Never DieandMullet Mad Jackare well worth a look. Also, there’s one calledCop Bastard, although I haven’t played that yet. There are also a few others from our list ofThe 25 best FPS games on PC. Happy shooting!
