Five of them were announced at yesterday’s PlayStation Showcase, and that’s five too many
Not only were they great in number, but none of them felt - as much as CG trailerscanfeel - in any way new and exciting. One, even, was a soulless Splatoon rip-off, while another has managed to arrive on exactly the same idea as Sega’s Hyenas several years too late. A third, still, looked like the blinged up lovechild of Watch_Dogs and the baffingly bad Rockay City.
But the more important question is this: who are these games hoping to court? I’d wager that most multiplayer shooter likershave time for one, maybe two of these in their lives absolute maximum, and most of the big hitters like Destiny have either already swallowed their playerbase whole, or burned them to crisp with theirincessant grind. Heck, I can’t even make room in my life to try even half of them these days to see if they’re worth sticking with - perhaps because I know deep down that they’re almost all guaranteed to fold within their first six months like so many of this year’s casualties have done already. There’s simply too of these games now. We have reached saturation years ago, and it’s time to say: no more. I’m sorry,Concord,Foamstars,Marathon,Fairgame$and, well, maybeHelldivers 2. RPS in peace.
The flight of PVP shooter Concord was all too brief
Concord’s reveal trailer gives no inkling this will be a PVP multiplayershootergame. I was all ready to love this sci-fi whateveritis with its weird space burgers, detailed ship innards and enigmatic blinking lights. But oh no. ThePlayStation Blogpost for it revealed the sad truth. It tells us it’s “a bringing together of peoples”, that each log on will bring you “a new adventure” and every match “is an opportunity for a new story”. But what does that tell us, really? Nothing. I’m willing to put this one’s funeral on hold until we see some actual footage, but be truthful now, are you really going to ditch Destiny for whatever this is?
All right, I knowHelldiversThe 1st is legit good. This one might get a pass, if only because it’sco-op, thank god, rather than competitive. I can get behind a good co-op shooter. Heck, it’s often how I prefer to enjoy them these days (big up Gears 4 andGears 5). But Helldivers 2 certainly didn’t help itself by struting out four caped super soldiers that looked like they’d just walked off the set of The Mandalorian. I’ll stay this one’s execution for now… but I’ve got my eye on you, Helldivers 2. My beady, beady eye.
Don’t get me wrong. Marathon’s reveal trailer looks rad as heck. I love the oozing paint spirals. I love the cold, white plastic faces of its crash test dummy robot characters, orRunners, if you want the official term. And Bungie make great shooters. There’s no denying that. But Marathon is a PVP only game, with no single-player campaign or anything to suggest that its drive for"player-driven stories"won’t 100% always end with me getting headshot halfway across the map every 30 seconds before I take a single step into its persistent, evolving maps. And heck, if this ends up with the same cracked moon’s worth oftangled and convoluted season passes and story expansions as Destiny 2… I mean, god save us all.
Sega’sHyenasisn’t even out yet, but Fairgame$, from Jade Raymond’s studio Haven, looks like it’s gunning for exactly the same template, albeit without every loot crate stuffed full of Sonic plushies and gold-dipped Dreamcast tat. It’s a PVP competitive heist game where you and so-many mates steal from the mega rich and give to… yourselves? Listen, I know theexact historyaround Robin Hood is a bit iffy, but playing as a bunch of pepped up loot monkeys (literally, see right) just makes me want to face plant into my desk.
The concept, admittedly, isn’tallbad. IOI’sHitman World Of Assassination Trilogydoes an excellent job of bringing mega-rich spaces to life, and Fairgame$, too is promising"emergent sandbox gameplay". But the tone of an extraction shooter is so hard to get right, and none of its CGI reveal trailer suggests Fairgame$ knows what it wants to be. AWatch_Dogswannabe? Hitman? God, could it beworsethan Crime Boss: Rockay City? I mean, it has a $ for an S. I think that tells you everything you need to know.
Sssh, listen, I know Foamstars isn’t actually confirmed for PC right now, but come on, Squeenix. Respect the ink. This couldn’t be cribbing Splatoon’s homework harder if it tried, and its blatant attempt to stand out by also ripping off Prey’s glue gun shall not stand. I won’t allow it. Pull the plug. This one’s destined for the drain.
