I just want my old life back
And if I can’t remember how it got here, how can I make it go away?
For what is all horror if not, in some small way, a creepy story about a guy?
“Immerse yourself in the dark adventure of a guy who suffers from depression and feels guilty. He never takes off his hood and always keeps his hands in his pockets,” it continues. “Michael became disillusioned with life and decided to try to start his life over. To do this, he left the metropolis and a successful career, sold the house he inherited, and moved to the other side of the country to forget the mistakes made in the past. But is it possible to escape from your past?”
Is it possible indeed? Day after day, I set myself the task of clearing the clutter from my library. A demo I’ve played and do not wish to play again. A demo that has tempted me to buy the full game. A demo I have poured my heart into writing about to extol its virtues, burning with ecstatic fire as words tumble unbidden to the page, only for the sole piece of evidence that I did not imagine the entire affair to be a single RPS comment that says “looks shit M8”. And then, there is the demo for New Life. Haunting me like all unfulfilled aspirations must eventually: relentlessly. Viciously. Eternally.
I move the cursor. I right click and hover over the ‘uninstall’ button. I have no wish to return here, to this place between play and un-play, as long as I live. But still, I cannot leave. “What if?” I ask. “What then?”. The demo is too small to concern myself with the space it takes, and yet, too monumental in its shrieking insistence to ignore. And in this place between oblivion and absolution, I scrape out a wretched existence, with no end in sight.
(I will probs just leave it there tbf it’s a very small demo)
