“We’re going to be able to do things that we’ve never done before.”

Once you’ve finished screaming, let me re-emphasise that this story is one of those “according to report” stories. It comes from unnamed sources at Activision-Blizzard, describing a recent all-hands meeting during which CEO Bobby Kotick laid out his vision for the company and gaming at large followingActivison’s acquisition by Microsoft, which is tipped to finally conclude this week. Amongst other things, Kotick allegedly discussed machine learning,Guitar Heroand the apocalyptic power of Microsoft R&D. Activision hired James Corden to host the meeting, the sources claim. It sounds like a David Lynch fever dream.

The sources in question are familiars ofWindows Central, which has a decent track record for this kind of anonymous reporting - amongst other things, they’re the ones wot got hold ofTodd Howard’s internal email to staff celebrating Starfield’s release.

“If you look at the new technologies that are on the horizon, we’re going to be able to do things that we’ve never done before with AI and machine learning,” Kotick is said to have said. “The quality of graphics are now elevated to a place where we’re going to need more writing talent and more acting talent - because we won’t be able to actually fulfill the expectations of our players.”

Kotick reportedly added that “games are always very different than film and television. In film and television, you are successful by creating a connection that’s emotional between you and the audience - our experiences are more visceral, but it’s changing. We have characters on the screen and video games who with mouth movements and facial animation that is realistic - you’re going to have a new dimension of emotional connection that we’ve not yet mastered.”

Still, think of the videogames! “I talked a little earlier about the physical experience of interacting with something on screen,” Kotick reportedly said during the talk. “I think you’ll see things like Neuralink - you’ll actually be able to interact with things on the screen, where there isn’t a controller.”

Kotick apparently feels that Microsoft are the perfect partners with which to embark on this brave new ocean of brain-hacking technology, amongst other fancy new ways to play a videogame. “A big part of what I’ve seen in Microsoft is research,” he supposedly opined. “And they do development in areas that are extraordinary. And so being able to tap into their AI and machine learning capability, the data analytics, new ways of thinking about graphics - I just see unlimited potential for what we do.” As to what Activision bring to the marriage, “we have the very best franchises in all of video games.”

I’m not aware if Microsoft have any neural interface technology in R&D themselves, but I’d be surprised if they haven’t toyed with the idea. This is Microsoft, after all.

This feels like a good time to mention that videogames are littered with cautionary tales about the act of screwing bits of computer hardware into your noggin. One of them is Activision’s ownCall of Duty: Black Ops 3.

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